Friday, December 14, 2012

Reading the Glob today, noticed the "most popular" videos. Three about boobs; one about violence.

Was it ever thus.

I'm just tired today. Charlie's had a juicy, loud, wretched cough all week, and I'm just short of sleep, and the days and nights are just too busy - even though they're full of good things. Just too many of them.

I'm also rattled by having gotten stuck in two loooong subway delays yesterday - one on the way to work, one on the way home. It's woken up my claustrophobia. Glad I'm not a miner, that's all I can say.

Best thing today? A phone call from a wonderful friend.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

THIS is making me so happy. Sing it Mariah!

Sunday, January 22, 2012


Not sure what's up, but one thing I know for sure it that it's the traditional flat-to-sad time of year, emotionally.

For starters, one of my favourite pod-mates has left for greener pastures. And post Christmas, I'm left feeling a bit weary of the growing-company b.s. scene - meaning the b.s. that tends to flourish when a little itsy bitsy company experiences a lot of growth over a short time.

Plus I'm just weary of taking so much mediocre direction from the overconfident and inexperienced. At this point in my career, I don't feel like humouring newbies who feel like playing copywriter. Just let me do it, eh. Plus I just need some time away from the masses at the office. It's a rather open area, and writing in the land of interuption is difficult and it all makes me not want to save my vacation days and it makes me want to leave the city for somewhere quieter and less liney-uppey. And it'd be nice for us to see our families a bit more often.

Bitch, kvetch, whine.

On the bright side, I've been walking. This is the month of walking and walking. Last year, I resolved to walk instead of taking the bus, and this year, I've successfully kicked it up a notch by extending my walk by one subway station. My 35-40 minute tromp along the quiet streets in the dark, listening to my (new!) ipod, is just so good. I also discovered it's got a pedometer, and it's making it super easy to reach my 10K-step/day goal.

Just like with cycling, if my daily exercise is also my transportation, it's really no problem getting it in there. Plus it's truly good for my soul.

All's well. I just feel like shaking things up. Not wise to do so without a plan, so I'm starting to plan. Yeah!

Monday, January 2, 2012

I pause

PS: As for starting a blog about menopause, I'm thinking about it still. But it occurs to me that this, weird in edgewise, is that blog.

I started it the year I was turning 45, about to exit the desirable 18-44 demographic. I was starting a fulltime job because M3I and I were both freelance and in our mid-40s, with a young kid, and as we entered middle age, it was time to add some stability and benefits to our income. I ended up with a boss who was much younger and less experienced, I'd just lost an elderly relative, I was noticing that I never got, er, checked out any more. Not that I was looking for it, obviously, but exiting that demographic means you have to deal with being "formerly hot". And being formerly hot also meant a new era of being extremely hot.

Primarily, I want to get across one important point: age 44, 45, 46, 47 or 48 is not too early to go through menopause. I know people perhaps think they're trying to make me feel good - oh you're so young! - by saying that it seems too soon, but really, you're just making me feel like there's something wrong with me when there isn't. Maybe they'd just like me to never mention it. Which isn't going to happen. If I detect queasiness about "women's issues", I'm going to talk about them. Women exist. So get a grip.

It looks like I'm close to being permanently on "pause". Hope so, anyway.

Because it's about bloody time for Auntie Flo to pack up her bags and go.

More evolutions, revolutions and resolutions

I read The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin, over the holidays, and it's inspired me to continue on my road to getting my shite together. I'm not totally concerned about feeling "happy"; it didn't seem that Gretchin Rubin was unhappy; that wasn't the point (in my opinion). Like me, I think she just wanted to kick it up a notch.

Plus I found that she and I have a little tiny bit of St. Teresa kismet. She discovered along her journey that she was finding inspiration in St. Thérèse of Lisieux; I recently found inspiration in another St. Teresa (of Avila) who has a wonderful a quote on patience, which I sought out and found one busy, exasperating day at work: Patience achieves all that it strives for. What I glean from this is that if you need patience and work to try to be patient, you get some. The idea, at the time I needed it, was like putting a good anti-itch cream on a mosquito bite. It also made me feel like St. Teresa likely'd had a pretty good inkling of the intense irritation I was feeling.

On that day, I was striving to not yell at someone who was driving me crazy. Gretchin's St. Thérèse had a similar situation and rose above it beautifully.  

Back to New Year's resolutions and The Happiness Project. I'm quite happy with how my decluttering efforts through 2011 have evolved into a routine of culling, sorting, and taking stuff to Goodwill. And I'm happy generally with most things in my life.

Having time over the holidays to read and think inspired me to come up with even more resolutions.  I've even listed them (including the four previous) all together in my notebook.

I just did one of my new ones: Use "alone time" to play the piano. I got my Grade IX way back when, and even took lessons in my first year of university. I loved playing and even though I've had a long phase where I didn't feel like I missed it, well, I do now, lately.

So when M3I and Charlie  out to get provisions for dinner, instead of my slipping into my annual usual sadness-fest mourning the end of the holiday, I zipped over to the piano and played just a bit of the music that's currently sitting on the stand. I'm rusty, but I haven't completely lost it. Made me happy.