Monday, July 4, 2011

Cooling the fires of eternal punishment

I once read that Katharine Hepburn went for a swim every day in Long Island Sound - year round. Based on my personal experience, I now can tell you with great confidence why -- and at which time in her life -- Ms. Hepburn began this custom. Can you guess? Need a hint?

Never mind, you probably don't even want to know if you're not a 40-something woman, or married to a 40-something woman, with a newfound ability to heat the chilliest of waters with her powerful, demon-sent hot flashes.

Last Friday, I was sitting on the dock up at my in-laws' place (located just a wee bit north of the 45th parallel) enjoying the beautiful 25C degree weather, and the fire started within. Again. Probably for the umpteenth time that day. But unlike the other times, I didn't have to suffer through it because I was sitting over a very conveniently cold lake. I swear you could hear the tssssssss as I immersed myself and the fire was cooled. Gawd, it was nice!

Roughly 12 hours later, I woke up with a big "uh-oh" nighttime flash. Not nice. I hope I don't get more of those. I also hope I don't get these wretched flashes for the next 10 years, or, as I've been hearing as possible, for the rest of my wretched life.

Now I know Katharine Hepburn's secret.

(Image from