Friday, January 30, 2009

My level best

Yesterday I had a sick day – ear infection – but I’m back at the office today and I’m tirrrrred. And relieved, because in addition to feeling under the weather, I’ve hardly had any work to do this week, and since I’m trying to get my contract transformed into fulltime, that’s baaaaaaad. I don’t want to be idly sitting at my desk looking like I’m, well, idle. But I had a ton of emails this morning and it’s good and busy, for now at least. Hurrah!

I made myself come in though, even though I’m still feeling crapola. I don’t want to get into the habit of taking sick days, because I tend to disproportionately enjoy them. (For example, yesterday I slept all morning, then had cereal and toast for lunch with Charlie before he went to school. Then I lay on the couch all afternoon watching the Sex and the City movie, then watched it again with the writer’s commentary; now that’s a deliciously, addictively, lazy day.)

In my normal pre-CBT pre-Cipralex life, I typically needed to take a sick day about once a month. Just to let my skin heal from the stresses of the world. And I haven’t had to take one since my last week at Jobsite X back in September (and truthfully I didn’t really have to take that one; I was PMSing and spiteful). Before that, not since May, when I was still having panic attacks and adjusting to the meds. And, be warned anyone who ventures into altering your body chemistry with Cipralex: it’s a great drug, but it takes a helluva long time to help you – like four months at the very least. And in the meantime, it’s going to make you feel much much worse.

These days, however, I think it’s great. Cuz I’m back at my desk, feeling like crap, yet very happy to be here.

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