Sunday, November 30, 2008

Lilith

I found a wonderful Canadian feminist blog called "Lilith Attack". The blogger is a confident and proud feminist, and her little profile icon is a great portrait of Lilith with a huge snake wrapped around her; she looks pretty damn happy with that snake. And since I'm all about snakes lately (at least in my dreams) and I love Lilith, I'm adding this blog to my list.

My mom first told me about the intrepid Lilith, Adam's first wife, way back when I was in high school. In fact, my Catholic, although slightly wicca-y, mom even told me that Lilith left him because she didn't like being in the missionary position. That meant Adam was left all alone, poor guy, so God made Eve for him, and she was way easier to get along with.

I always had trouble with the story of Eve and just did not believe she made Adam eat that damn apple. Doesn't sound too docile to me. I mean, let's be truthful. Back in high school and university, who was usually trying to get someone to do something they weren't sure was a good idea, or just plain didn't want to do? The girls? Not bloody likely.

Of course I also thought that God should be encouraging Adam and Eve to eat from the tree of knowledge. Forbidding knowledge? It made no sense.

But I've never liked to see either sex maligned. When I was a child it bothered me that on TV shows it was usually the man getting a pie in the face. Didn't seem fair. However, I thought that only boys were altar boys because they needed to spend time being holy because they were badder than girls, and that girls were already good.

Artist John Collier, who seemed to really like painting nudes, painted this portrait of Lilith in 1892. I got it from wikimedia and it's the same painting that's on Lilith Attack. Gorgeous.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Nice

The office holiday party is coming up soon, and it looks like it's going to be a super-cool, groovy and extravagant affair. As per the typical office policy, freelancers are not invited. But spouses/dates are.

So far three people here have asked me to come as their date, so I can be included in the festivities.

Nice! No wonder I like it here, eh?

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Makin' it work

All that torment and anxiety over leaving freelance and working full-time - nightmares about feeling trapped, trembling at the thought of working every day in one place for YEARS and YEARS, missing Charlie so much it hurt - it all comes to this: there is nothing I want more right now than to be offered a full-time job at the place I'm freelancing, which I'll call Jobsite I.

I first started at Jobsite I in October of 1995. I was 32 years old, and had just spent five years working for a small group of science guys. The work there was fun and engaging, but I was lonely working alone, and Jobsite I looked like it'd be a friendly place. The company at that time had about 15 employees, and everyone ate lunch together at a big table in the middle of the room. I wanted to make friends, and I sure did. A huge number of the people I've worked with there over the years have became my friends - old friends now. I'd been working there almost five years when I went to my boss's housewarming party and, in her kitchen, met my husband.

The first time I quit, I was just bored. Not being a large company, there weren't a whole lot of different positions to do. Then after a few years of freelancing, an interesting position came up there, so I went back. I got pregnant roughly six hours after accepting the job offer, so ended up leaving again after about 40 weeks, then went back to freelance after my mat. leave so I could freelance and spend more time with the baby.

And, so here I am. I've been working there now every day for two months, and it's just been great. There are no job openings there right now. But there's a mat. leave coming up, so I will apply for it. However, if I'm honest with myself, I have to admit the job I really want to do there isn't one that's available.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The recent past and the imminent future

So things are going great at work. I'm really happy, I like the incredible people, the office, the work. Problem is, my booking - which began October 6, is ending on December 5. Ugh. I've told everyone there that I can think of that I'm looking to stay, either fulltime or extended booking or contract, but the reality is the economic situation puts any big plans on ice.

Still, seems busy there, and I remain hopeful.

In other news: we had a great time visiting my parents on the weekend, and suddenly we're all about puzzles. The dino puzzle was a combined effort on the parts of me, Charlie and my dad, as we played and lazed around on Sunday afternoon. It was bliss. I so enjoyed watching my folks enjoy Charlie. He makes them laugh, they make him laugh, it's wonderful.

As I've mentioned before, my parents do a ton of volunteer work for their local food bank. These days my mom is putting together Christmas gifts for the food bank, like, really putting them together. She's buying, getting various businesses to donate stuff, and packaging close to 200 gift bags. She just does this kind of stuff, and doesn't make a big deal out of it. Plus I know she'll make each and every gift bag beautiful. There's line from one of my favourite happy-type movies, Sleepless in Seattle, where "Sam" says of his late wife, "She made everything beautiful." That's my mom.

Friday, November 21, 2008

I loved the snake

Early this morning as the sun was rising, I was dreaming that I was carrying around a very large, warm boa constrictor.

As I walked around with it, it wrapped itself tighter, and I realized I loved the snake and that the snake was happy.

Of course, next I thought, hmm, I don’t know much about snakes and I wonder if the snake is hungry, and what do they eat anyway? Ah, mice probably. Where am I going to get a mouse? Then the snake wrapped itself tighter. And then my husband woke me up, saying, “It’s 7:30.”

Snuggled against my back, with his very long skinny leg slung over me and with his arm around my waist, was Charlie, my happy, sleepy, beloved little boa constrictor.

Here's the music that was in my head when I woke up; words are in the link above. Enjoy and be happy.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Another learning curve

I'm on a new team this week -- still at the same place, freelance. I'm filling in for a project manager who's away for three weeks. It seems like a ton of projects, mainly because I'm unfamiliar with them, and they're all somewhere in the middle of their production schedules. It's just so uncomfortable not knowing stuff!

I'm still happy there and everyone's still being very nice to me and they're being appreciative, and for that I'm grateful. But - did I mention? I don't enjoy not knowing what I'm doing, or looking like I don't know what I'm doing.

I just spent most of the day fiddling around with a bunch of layouts done in MS Word (ugh), and also trying to write stuff based on a very brief brief that I didn't understand. So - and I'm very proud of myself for doing this - I called the client and asked her to rebrief me. Understand, I hate looking like I don't know what I'm doing, and I essentially called her up and admitted it. And she very cheerfully told me what was required, sent me some more info, and, well, whew! I got it all done and sent it off by EOD, which is when she was expecting it. Took me all day, but got it done.

The really good news: I'm home, got snow tires on the new car today, and I'm having a nice delicious salad my husband made with avacado in it, and a nice delicious glass of sherry. Plus, and this is no small plus, he and Charlie made gingerbread cookies today. Mmm-mm!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

It's about time

... it's and mainly about trying to find it. Since I started nodding off at 9:15, it's been scarce.

I got some this morning; a gift from my husband, who told me to go back to bed. So I did.

Oddly enough, I didn't fall asleep. Well, not right away. I was enjoying just lying there in the dark room, listening to him play with Charlie. It made me happy, and it made me feel so very lucky.

Way back when we first got together (which was not actually so long ago), I remember from time to time wishing it was years later. I wanted us to have been together for a long time with a shared history. I knew it would be great.

I can't really articulate why I felt this way. But there's one thing I'm sure about: it is great.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Catching up on my sleep

Not been blogging much.

First, my computer was on the blink; it's a normally lovely PowerBook G4 with an annoying problem: it wouldn't stay awake. But after much research here on the internet, my husband fixed it. He actually opened the thing up and took out a chip. (Here are the instructions he followed, complete with pic.) He knew which chip to remove, mind you, by carefully diagnosing the problem with a diagnostic application we downloaded that told us the computer was overheating. Then we found a temperature monitor, and downloaded it too, and it told us the chip under the trackpad was giving out intermittent false readings - which would tell the computer it was way to hot, which would put it to sleep.

Very annoying and made it difficult to do anything on here. But he's brave and has a steady hand, and did it, and it worked.

My second issue is that I'm also the one that can't stay awake. I'm okay during the day; normal energy, happy, productive, enjoying riding my bike home in the dark, (complete with an wide assortment of lights on both front, back, and helmet). But after I read Charlie a story, and he asks for a snuggle, I crash, right there on his bed. I wake up around, oh, say, now, and typically go brush my teeth and crash again.

I do have all kinds of thoughts I want to share, and they're starting to really build up, like, the thing that struck me most about P.E. Obama's victory speech was that there was not a single self-indulgent note in it; nor was there any phony theatrics. He's a wonderful speaker, etc., etc., but I wanted to put two thoughts out there:

1) when was the last time you listened to a politician speak and didn't cringe? What a lovely change.

and

2) we have to give a big bunch of kudos to his speech writers - good job! (From what I understand, one of the primary speechwriters is actually P.E. Obama himself, and a young fellow named Jon Favreau (gotta plug the writers, always), and I will check for more, but I gotta go; Mr. Sandman calls.

Nighty night.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

They just called it

... and it looks like Barack Obama has done it, and Americans have voted for hope over cynicism. Good job, folks. It's going to be very interesting.