Not sure what's up, but one thing I know for sure it that it's the traditional flat-to-sad time of year, emotionally.
For starters, one of my favourite pod-mates has left for greener pastures. And post Christmas, I'm left feeling a bit weary of the growing-company b.s. scene - meaning the b.s. that tends to flourish when a little itsy bitsy company experiences a lot of growth over a short time.
Plus I'm just weary of taking so much mediocre direction from the overconfident and inexperienced. At this point in my career, I don't feel like humouring newbies who feel like playing copywriter. Just let me do it, eh. Plus I just need some time away from the masses at the office. It's a rather open area, and writing in the land of interuption is difficult and it all makes me not want to save my vacation days and it makes me want to leave the city for somewhere quieter and less liney-uppey. And it'd be nice for us to see our families a bit more often.
Bitch, kvetch, whine.
On the bright side, I've been walking. This is the month of walking and walking. Last year, I resolved to walk instead of taking the bus, and this year, I've successfully kicked it up a notch by extending my walk by one subway station. My 35-40 minute tromp along the quiet streets in the dark, listening to my (new!) ipod, is just so good. I also discovered it's got a pedometer, and it's making it super easy to reach my 10K-step/day goal.
Just like with cycling, if my daily exercise is also my transportation, it's really no problem getting it in there. Plus it's truly good for my soul.
All's well. I just feel like shaking things up. Not wise to do so without a plan, so I'm starting to plan. Yeah!
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Monday, January 2, 2012
I pause
PS: As for starting a blog about menopause, I'm thinking about it still. But it occurs to me that this, weird in edgewise, is that blog.
I started it the year I was turning 45, about to exit the desirable 18-44 demographic. I was starting a fulltime job because M3I and I were both freelance and in our mid-40s, with a young kid, and as we entered middle age, it was time to add some stability and benefits to our income. I ended up with a boss who was much younger and less experienced, I'd just lost an elderly relative, I was noticing that I never got, er, checked out any more. Not that I was looking for it, obviously, but exiting that demographic means you have to deal with being "formerly hot". And being formerly hot also meant a new era of being extremely hot.
Primarily, I want to get across one important point: age 44, 45, 46, 47 or 48 is not too early to go through menopause. I know people perhaps think they're trying to make me feel good - oh you're so young! - by saying that it seems too soon, but really, you're just making me feel like there's something wrong with me when there isn't. Maybe they'd just like me to never mention it. Which isn't going to happen. If I detect queasiness about "women's issues", I'm going to talk about them. Women exist. So get a grip.
It looks like I'm close to being permanently on "pause". Hope so, anyway.
Because it's about bloody time for Auntie Flo to pack up her bags and go.
Tweet
I started it the year I was turning 45, about to exit the desirable 18-44 demographic. I was starting a fulltime job because M3I and I were both freelance and in our mid-40s, with a young kid, and as we entered middle age, it was time to add some stability and benefits to our income. I ended up with a boss who was much younger and less experienced, I'd just lost an elderly relative, I was noticing that I never got, er, checked out any more. Not that I was looking for it, obviously, but exiting that demographic means you have to deal with being "formerly hot". And being formerly hot also meant a new era of being extremely hot.
Primarily, I want to get across one important point: age 44, 45, 46, 47 or 48 is not too early to go through menopause. I know people perhaps think they're trying to make me feel good - oh you're so young! - by saying that it seems too soon, but really, you're just making me feel like there's something wrong with me when there isn't. Maybe they'd just like me to never mention it. Which isn't going to happen. If I detect queasiness about "women's issues", I'm going to talk about them. Women exist. So get a grip.
It looks like I'm close to being permanently on "pause". Hope so, anyway.
Because it's about bloody time for Auntie Flo to pack up her bags and go.
More evolutions, revolutions and resolutions
I read The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin, over the holidays, and it's inspired me to continue on my road to getting my shite together. I'm not totally concerned about feeling "happy"; it didn't seem that Gretchin Rubin was unhappy; that wasn't the point (in my opinion). Like me, I think she just wanted to kick it up a notch.
Plus I found that she and I have a little tiny bit of St. Teresa kismet. She discovered along her journey that she was finding inspiration in St. Thérèse of Lisieux; I recently found inspiration in another St. Teresa (of Avila) who has a wonderful a quote on patience, which I sought out and found one busy, exasperating day at work: Patience achieves all that it strives for. What I glean from this is that if you need patience and work to try to be patient, you get some. The idea, at the time I needed it, was like putting a good anti-itch cream on a mosquito bite. It also made me feel like St. Teresa likely'd had a pretty good inkling of the intense irritation I was feeling.
On that day, I was striving to not yell at someone who was driving me crazy. Gretchin's St. Thérèse had a similar situation and rose above it beautifully.
Back to New Year's resolutions and The Happiness Project. I'm quite happy with how my decluttering efforts through 2011 have evolved into a routine of culling, sorting, and taking stuff to Goodwill. And I'm happy generally with most things in my life.
Having time over the holidays to read and think inspired me to come up with even more resolutions. I've even listed them (including the four previous) all together in my notebook.
I just did one of my new ones: Use "alone time" to play the piano. I got my Grade IX way back when, and even took lessons in my first year of university. I loved playing and even though I've had a long phase where I didn't feel like I missed it, well, I do now, lately.
So when M3I and Charlie out to get provisions for dinner, instead of my slipping into my annual usual sadness-fest mourning the end of the holiday, I zipped over to the piano and played just a bit of the music that's currently sitting on the stand. I'm rusty, but I haven't completely lost it. Made me happy.
Onward.
Tweet
Plus I found that she and I have a little tiny bit of St. Teresa kismet. She discovered along her journey that she was finding inspiration in St. Thérèse of Lisieux; I recently found inspiration in another St. Teresa (of Avila) who has a wonderful a quote on patience, which I sought out and found one busy, exasperating day at work: Patience achieves all that it strives for. What I glean from this is that if you need patience and work to try to be patient, you get some. The idea, at the time I needed it, was like putting a good anti-itch cream on a mosquito bite. It also made me feel like St. Teresa likely'd had a pretty good inkling of the intense irritation I was feeling.
On that day, I was striving to not yell at someone who was driving me crazy. Gretchin's St. Thérèse had a similar situation and rose above it beautifully.
Back to New Year's resolutions and The Happiness Project. I'm quite happy with how my decluttering efforts through 2011 have evolved into a routine of culling, sorting, and taking stuff to Goodwill. And I'm happy generally with most things in my life.
Having time over the holidays to read and think inspired me to come up with even more resolutions. I've even listed them (including the four previous) all together in my notebook.
I just did one of my new ones: Use "alone time" to play the piano. I got my Grade IX way back when, and even took lessons in my first year of university. I loved playing and even though I've had a long phase where I didn't feel like I missed it, well, I do now, lately.
So when M3I and Charlie out to get provisions for dinner, instead of my slipping into my annual usual sadness-fest mourning the end of the holiday, I zipped over to the piano and played just a bit of the music that's currently sitting on the stand. I'm rusty, but I haven't completely lost it. Made me happy.
Onward.
Friday, December 30, 2011
My favourite faces
Having this week off between X and NY is a true gift. My employer, Jobsite I, gave us the whole week off, paid. Paid. PAID! Whenever I dream about going back to freelance, I try to remind myself of having paid time off, give my head a shake, and then go get some prescriptions filled and make a dentist appointment.
My favourite thing about the week is the precious time that my lil family and I get to just hang with each other. Charlie and M3I are playing Gnip-Gnop behind me on the floor. Next up, marbles. It also gives me time to just look, nay gaze, at their beautiful, handsome faces.
No, I'm not drunk. Unless you mean on love <3
Tweet
My favourite thing about the week is the precious time that my lil family and I get to just hang with each other. Charlie and M3I are playing Gnip-Gnop behind me on the floor. Next up, marbles. It also gives me time to just look, nay gaze, at their beautiful, handsome faces.
No, I'm not drunk. Unless you mean on love <3
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
New Year's Revolutions
Okay. Life's good. Work's good. Family's good. The decluttering of 2011 has gone great, with lots of good stuff to come. In many ways, I feel like I'm On The Right Track. But it's so much fun to progress and grow, right? Here's what I want to do or improve in 2012.
#1. Get rid of my back pain by strengthening the hell out of my abdominal muscles. With physio and massage, I'm on the right track. For example, I can roll over in bed again. Pretty good for a 48-year-old, eh? Got to beat this. Because if I've had to go to freaking physio just to be able to roll over in bed at this age, I've got a ways to go. 2012 is the year of the abs.
#2. Continue the decluttering. Done in 2011: Charlie's closet (which was full of my office stuff), my bedroom closet, my clothes, the china, books, excess craft material, and so many, many magazines. All cleaned up. To do in 2012: cull photos, declutter under the bed, get office stuff (which is organized) into filing cabinet drawer.
#3. What was it again? I was just going to google ab exercises, and, M3I just gave me a bite of turkey, and what was it. Oh yeah. Focus on focus. I think I'm a pretty good editor and copywriter, but all my working life (which includes school), I've struggled with maintaining my focus. It's like running. If I can make myself work solidly for about 10 or 15 minutes, I'm in the groove, I'm engaged and productive. But the internet, that wonderfully diabolical distractinator, is becoming a problem for me.
#4. Start a blog about menopause.
Stay tuned.
Tweet
#1. Get rid of my back pain by strengthening the hell out of my abdominal muscles. With physio and massage, I'm on the right track. For example, I can roll over in bed again. Pretty good for a 48-year-old, eh? Got to beat this. Because if I've had to go to freaking physio just to be able to roll over in bed at this age, I've got a ways to go. 2012 is the year of the abs.
#2. Continue the decluttering. Done in 2011: Charlie's closet (which was full of my office stuff), my bedroom closet, my clothes, the china, books, excess craft material, and so many, many magazines. All cleaned up. To do in 2012: cull photos, declutter under the bed, get office stuff (which is organized) into filing cabinet drawer.
#3. What was it again? I was just going to google ab exercises, and, M3I just gave me a bite of turkey, and what was it. Oh yeah. Focus on focus. I think I'm a pretty good editor and copywriter, but all my working life (which includes school), I've struggled with maintaining my focus. It's like running. If I can make myself work solidly for about 10 or 15 minutes, I'm in the groove, I'm engaged and productive. But the internet, that wonderfully diabolical distractinator, is becoming a problem for me.
#4. Start a blog about menopause.
Stay tuned.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
A tonic for a writer
The tonic? Occasional solitude.
I'm working from home today, as I'm on Charlie drop-off and pick-up duty, which also means I'm not in the office until the new year and I have to say this is a major, major treat! While I loove my colleagues and podmates, I truly do, and feel very lucky, truth is throughout my life I've craved and needed time alone and I've had very little lately. The company's gotten so big over the past two years, and from time to time I just need a buffer from people.
A buffer, like for example a door, which unfortunately due to the collaborative nature of our work, ain't ever going to happen. So I use my headphones as a buffer. Most of the time I'm not even listening to music. But especially when I'm writing I need just a leetle bit of uninterupted time. Please. I beg you.
So my small bit of ettiquette advice to those out there, if you work with a copywriter and she's got her headphones on, come back later. Even 10 minutes later will help a lot. I promise you your work will get done a lot faster.
Happy Solstice! Let there be light, indeed!
Tweet
I'm working from home today, as I'm on Charlie drop-off and pick-up duty, which also means I'm not in the office until the new year and I have to say this is a major, major treat! While I loove my colleagues and podmates, I truly do, and feel very lucky, truth is throughout my life I've craved and needed time alone and I've had very little lately. The company's gotten so big over the past two years, and from time to time I just need a buffer from people.
A buffer, like for example a door, which unfortunately due to the collaborative nature of our work, ain't ever going to happen. So I use my headphones as a buffer. Most of the time I'm not even listening to music. But especially when I'm writing I need just a leetle bit of uninterupted time. Please. I beg you.
So my small bit of ettiquette advice to those out there, if you work with a copywriter and she's got her headphones on, come back later. Even 10 minutes later will help a lot. I promise you your work will get done a lot faster.
Happy Solstice! Let there be light, indeed!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Brittany Murphy's Ba-BOOM zinger
The late Brittany Murphy is back in the news again. Every time her name comes up in the news, I think of this Letterman appearance, when she delivered this fabulously catty double-barrelled zinger about her ex-boyfriend's new relationship with Demi Moore.
Oh yeah! Ba-BOOM! Then she wraps it up with, "He was always a really big Bruce Willis fan." ZING!
Tweet
Oh yeah! Ba-BOOM! Then she wraps it up with, "He was always a really big Bruce Willis fan." ZING!
Friday, December 16, 2011
Simplify this sweet season
I love the Christmas season (usually when I'm about 75% done my shopping). I definitely romanticize it, but I just the whole mood and atmosphere. Of course, the only way I can get to this point is by letting certain things just not get done. For example, Christmas cards.
As much as I love them, with work being so busy for both me and M3I, and with a 2-hour commute (including to and fro), I realize with the wisdom that comes with being outside the target demographic, that I can't do it all. I can't accept every invitation - even for stuff I really want to go to - the fact is, I'd rather spend as much time as possible at home with Charlie and M3I, wrapping presents, having hot chocolate, being silly, maybe listening to Johnny Mathis, and then turning off all the lights but the ones on the tree.
Other simplification strategies: I'm cancelling 99% of my email newsletters. Since I write them, I like to subscribe to them to see what other people and companies are doing. But my inbox runneth over, so I'm unsubscribing and opting out.
Also, between my brothers, we just buy gifts for the kids (and the grandparents).
Even an inkling of feeling overwhelmed sucks the joy out of what really can be a lovely, special time of year. I think that's a good indicator: the beginnings of feeling overwhelmed. A good sign to take measures to get control of a situation.
That's all. I'm just feeling happy. I better get back to work so I can leave on time to night and zip into Oink Oink and get a cute tea set for my adorable 3-year-old niece.
Tweet
As much as I love them, with work being so busy for both me and M3I, and with a 2-hour commute (including to and fro), I realize with the wisdom that comes with being outside the target demographic, that I can't do it all. I can't accept every invitation - even for stuff I really want to go to - the fact is, I'd rather spend as much time as possible at home with Charlie and M3I, wrapping presents, having hot chocolate, being silly, maybe listening to Johnny Mathis, and then turning off all the lights but the ones on the tree.
Other simplification strategies: I'm cancelling 99% of my email newsletters. Since I write them, I like to subscribe to them to see what other people and companies are doing. But my inbox runneth over, so I'm unsubscribing and opting out.
Also, between my brothers, we just buy gifts for the kids (and the grandparents).
Even an inkling of feeling overwhelmed sucks the joy out of what really can be a lovely, special time of year. I think that's a good indicator: the beginnings of feeling overwhelmed. A good sign to take measures to get control of a situation.
That's all. I'm just feeling happy. I better get back to work so I can leave on time to night and zip into Oink Oink and get a cute tea set for my adorable 3-year-old niece.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Remembering Bruce MacDonald
Bruce died just over a year ago, and he's in my thoughts tonight. As my friend Lynne writes, there's lots of focus on bullying these days. Also, I happened to watch the wretched Rick Perry's unbelievable ad today, bizarrely called "Strong" (I ain't linking to it, especially in a post about Bruce).
I'm going to re-post what I did last year. Here 'tis:
I found out some of his thoughts when I spent several hours later that night reading his blog, Canuck Attitude [update: which, unfortunately, was taken down soon after his death]. This post, in particular, was so full of pain, sadness, rage and disappointment it made me weep for him and every person who's gone through anything like what he describes.
Here's just a bit:
There was a time when I couldn't see myself living beyond sixteen because I couldn't believe that a life so full of hurt, actually it wasn't just the hurt, it was the hatred that was directed toward me that made me feel that maybe being born wasn't such a great thing after all.
Imagine that, eh. You're you. And you're making your way through your childhood and youth, learning that a significant proportion of the world hates you. You've done nothing to deserve it. Nothing!
He also said,
As much as I'm impressed and heartened by Dan Savage's It Gets Better Project and the incredible response it has generated, I can't shake the feeling that all we are doing is patting kids on the head and sending them back to the dungeons while telling them to be patient. I'm sorry, but that's still a kind of tacit approval of bullying.
No Surrender
Bruce designed this flag, put it on his blog, and encouraged people to copy it. In his words, "This flag has no meaning beyond declaring self-purpose about one’s individuality. It’s a testament to the fact that no matter what, we all have to get up every morning and live in and share this place no matter who we are."
Tweet
I'm going to re-post what I did last year. Here 'tis:
A good man is gone - we as a society need to do better
We're all trying to figure out why Bruce chose to end his life. But I don't know what he, personally, was going through. All I know is that it had to be pretty bad.I found out some of his thoughts when I spent several hours later that night reading his blog, Canuck Attitude [update: which, unfortunately, was taken down soon after his death]. This post, in particular, was so full of pain, sadness, rage and disappointment it made me weep for him and every person who's gone through anything like what he describes.
Here's just a bit:
There was a time when I couldn't see myself living beyond sixteen because I couldn't believe that a life so full of hurt, actually it wasn't just the hurt, it was the hatred that was directed toward me that made me feel that maybe being born wasn't such a great thing after all.
Imagine that, eh. You're you. And you're making your way through your childhood and youth, learning that a significant proportion of the world hates you. You've done nothing to deserve it. Nothing!
He also said,
As much as I'm impressed and heartened by Dan Savage's It Gets Better Project and the incredible response it has generated, I can't shake the feeling that all we are doing is patting kids on the head and sending them back to the dungeons while telling them to be patient. I'm sorry, but that's still a kind of tacit approval of bullying.
No Surrender
Bruce designed this flag, put it on his blog, and encouraged people to copy it. In his words, "This flag has no meaning beyond declaring self-purpose about one’s individuality. It’s a testament to the fact that no matter what, we all have to get up every morning and live in and share this place no matter who we are."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)